Saturday, April 30, 2011

BEING A BANANA



Am I a banana?

I'm a banana.
No.
I'm not a banana. Not true.
I'm pretending to be a banana because this is supposed to be a fiction blog.
So...
I'm a banana.
OK?
Ifya just let me be a banana for now that'll be gudd.
:)

I don't like to be eaten.
When people take a bite out of me it hurts like the dickens.
Ouch!
They've tried,
but I won't let 'em.
Even pretty ones like this one.
If they manage to eat me up then I'm
all gone.
Dead.
As a
doornail.
ONO!
People like that woman above like gobbling me up.



They just like to eat me.
They don't care. They just think I taste good.
The only reason I was created was to be eaten.
I was raised on a banana farm.
I didn't come from a forest or something.
Yaknow?
I think Chiquita owned the tree I was attached to--
my foster 'parent.'
What a life that was.
Just hanging around waiting to be picked,
stuffed into a box and crammed in with a bunch of other bananas,
sent to a store,
hurled around a loading dock
then shoved onto a shelf in a warehouse to eventually wind up
on a shelf
at Stop and Shop.
OMG!

Then finally sitting on a kitchen table watching other animals and fruit
getting cooked and eaten, while I await my brutal fate.
To be eaten by a beautiful maiden.
Uh oh!
Am I in trouble!
Phew!
What can I do?!

If that gal doesn't eat me then this guy with the red nose will try!
Everyone loves bananas!
We're mello
and we're
yello.
Donovan
wrote a great song called Mellow Yellow about bananas.
Here is the link:


I'm slippin' into non-fiction a bit.
But that's ok.
Donovan's song is real, not fiction.
But they didn't really call him Mellow Yellow I don't think until
he wrote the song.
Great song.
I'm still not sure to this day if the rumors are true that
there is some way to get high by smoking
banana peels some way somehow.
Not sure on that.
Here's more banana non-fiction.
Harry Chapin wrote a great banana song, too.
The first one ya listened to at the top of the page was
30,000 Pounds Of Bananas.
It's about a banana delivery truck that crashes, resulting in 30,000 lbs of
M A S H E D    B A N A N A S
! ! ! ! !
ONO
!


At Stop and Shop people even buy bananas to feed their pets.
Darned banana-eating Parrot!
ONO!
Help!
Sometimes I wish I wasn't even a banana.
Awwww.
What if he had to watch me eat HIS brother?

These are a ton of bananas.
Well, probably more.
They're all my brothers and sisters.
I love all those guys.
Aren't they cute.
And...
Verrrrrrrrry
Yello!
:)
I'm writing this story inspired by my facebook friend
Patty,
btw.
She luvs
bananas
and uses a facebook app
called "Food Fight"
and throws
facebook food at me all the time.
<3
Patty's cool and luvs
Thundersnowstorms.
Me 2!
:-D
I'm a banana
and sure am
PROUD OF IT!
So, please don't eat me or anymore bananas
if ya luv us.
OK?

Whatever ya do, please don't use me as a gun.
I'm a pacifist!
:)
I'm a vegan.
I don't like hurtin' anyone or anything.
So
please,
please
be peaceful.
Peace is the answer.
Not WAR!
Not eating animals.
Not abusing 'em by using 'em as lab experiments
so your bubble gum tastes better.
Or wearing their skin just because you like the way it looks.
OK?
Ifya do that, then go ahead and eat some bananas.
Not me tho?
OK?
Please?

You can use me as a phone ifya want.
This cute girl is welcome to buy me at Stop and Shop and use me as a phone.
That'd be a great way to be.
BEING A BANANA
could be gudd,
or it
could be
badd.
One more link to music, this ones by a group called the Monkees.
They were popular when I grew up.
Monkeys are supposed to eat bananas.
That's ok by me.
This one's called "Hey Hey We're The Monkees."
Sorry real music fans:




That's a fictional picture of the baby Jesus.
Isn't he cute?
Isn't Mother Mary cute too?
Doesn't Joseph look proud?
Cool pic, huh?
Jesus gave us the Earth and dominion over the whole
kit and caboodle,
animals included.
Oceans, land, atmosphere, plants, people and critters.
It says so in the book of Genesis.
That's where it all begins.
:)

The humble Christ was born in a critters' manger
cuz the hotel owner wouldn't even put them up inside
though Mary was 9 months pregnant.
Tough situation.
The wise men were shepherds who abandoned their flocks
'o
sheep to go visit the newly born savior.
:)
Christ is symbolically referred to as a shepherd and we Christians
as his flock.
I love sheep.
I luv petting 'em.
Ever pet one?
It's cool!
Let's treat animals gudd.
Let's treat the atmosphere gudd.
Let's treat the plants gudd.
Let's treat the land gudd.
Let's treat people gudd.
Peace at any cost.
Peace in Egypt and in the world, please.
Look at my blogs on MomCat's Vegan Project, a series at a not-so
fictional blog 'o mine, it's a series of articles:
And don't forget to donate today to:
:)

1 comment:

  1. I'm just mad about Saffron,
    Saffron's mad about me.
    Electrical banana's
    About to be the very next craze!
    They call it mellow yellow.
    That's right slick.
    They call me mellow yellow.
    Yeah!

    ReplyDelete